Where Women Aren’t As Free
The Fight For Our Bodily Autonomy
Separation of Church & State
Where Women Aren’t As Free chronicles the continuing battle over women's bodily autonomy and the erosion of abortion rights across the United States.
We, The Women
I did not ask to be born nor blessed with this body - I never had a say in whether or not my form carried the communal consequences for the acts of two. I never asked for the privilege of a body that bares children, it was thrust upon me like blue eyes or white skin or blonde hair; inherent from my conception, biologically unchangeable, unquestionably inevitable, genetically undeniable. From the first breaths I took on this earth, it was pre-determined that my body would rebel against my own personal preferences, my dreams and intentions; it carries a mind of its own, an instinctual species survival mechanism I never wished for. For some it is an immeasurable blessing, but for those of us not ready or not willing, it is a nearly unbearable burden.
The “Pro-Life” Protestors
I remember: my coworkers in college debating the validity of my pro-choice stance, arguing the best birth control was to keep an aspirin between my knees; being debilitated by the side effects of a quarterly needle in my arm, depo provera leaching calcium from my bones, a type so severe they don’t advise taking that form of birth control for more than 2 years; sitting in the planned parenthood office, terrified that my rapist might have gotten me pregnant because in my inebriated state, he could have easily removed the condom; waiting 6 months to ask my doctor at the age of 30 about tubal ligation (she told me we could talk about it in a year or two) just to prove to a mansplainer how next to impossible it is to get permanent contraception unless you’re married or already have kids.
The Clinics
I remember: suffering a panic attack when my doctor discovered my IUD had pierced the back of my cervix 3 months into the Trump presidency, (when they were attempting to remove the birth control mandate), which would have left me incapable of affording ($600) the only form of contraception I can take due to pre-existing conditions; my ex-partner adamantly refusing to get a vasectomy, even though he was 10 years my senior (40) and explicitly did not want children, despite my desperation to be IUD-free due to the crippling pains that left me nearly collapsing on NYC sidewalks on my walks to the train repeatedly; having dozens upon dozens of people tell me since age 15 that I would change my mind nearly every single time I’ve expressed publicly, verbally, my innate lack of desire to ever have children - I am still hearing it now at 35 with infuriatingly consistent frequency.
The Faux Clinics
I would gladly trade these ovaries in if it were that easy, but the fact of the matter is, it’s simply my biology. I love being a woman, embracing my femininity, and that doesn’t mean I need to carry with it a life-death-sentence where all my hopes and dreams are perpetually threatened by a procreative predisposition I never asked to have, a mother I never wanted to be. My body is not just a birthing chamber for your blessed babies; it is mine, and mine alone - it does not belong to you, not anybody but me. If it were an alien bursting out of my chest, or a tapeworm taking all my nutrients, you would have no problem calling it a monster out of a horror film or a parasite, but because we share the same genetic makeup, suddenly it has some claim to my skin, my body, the entirety of my being? What about my life, my invaluable contributions to society? I deserve every right a man has in his ability to predetermine his own destiny - no (cis)man has ever been forced to provide his body, wellbeing, life, and sustenance to support another entity, and I demand no less for any woman on this planet.
The Politicians
To be clear, I’ve never had an abortion, and if ever I found myself pregnant, I would get one, unquestionably, as I know it wouldn’t be due to my own irresponsibility. It would be because of so many other unfortunate circumstances like someone sexually violated me, potentially even a member of my family; my contraception failed, unbeknownst to me; my abuser took my birth control away from me as a way to maintain control over me; these are the sad circumstances that many women face, and no one should be forced to carry a pregnancy to term when they didn’t want it. Varicose veins, incontinence issues, losing teeth, damaged breast tissue, stretch marks, higher risk of developing diabetes, morning sickness, hemorrhoids, separated abdominal muscles, weaker orgasms, postpartum depression, melasma, decreased sex drives, permanent changes to the brain, hair loss, risk of hemorrhaging during birth, higher risk of death overall, chronic pain from c-sections, and don’t even get me started on the expenses ($30-50K) of pregnancy.
The Abortion Advocates
Nevermind the additional traumas that can be induced. Not even a decade ago, a rapist could pursue visitation and custody rights for a child born out of his criminal actions in 31 of our 50 states. Or how during that same time period, women seeking abortions were undergoing state sanctioned rapes via forced vaginal ultrasounds in the pursuit of ending their pregnancies. There will always be those who are not as conscientious or responsible when it comes to preventing a pregnancy, and no matter how that conception occurred, every woman has every right to pursue her happiness, especially if that pursuit is childless. Whether due to trauma or bad timing, it’s quite frankly none of your business. A woman has every right to make that choice - it is a decision I and I alone get to make.
Free Speech Vs. Propaganda
